Tag Archives: self discovery

Donna takes on a fashion internship

Hello! I’ll say that again because it feels so good to be back in the blogging world! Hello! To all my followers, I genuinely apologise for being away so long from blogging. I had a lot going on. My 5 week uni break, which I was looking forward to and had all these amazing plans for, was turned into a 1.5 week break. Have you ever had to sit a supplementary exam? It sux! They postponed my exam by 3 weeks! Thank God it’s over now. In the end I faced my fears of sitting an exam I previously failed. When you do your best, the end result always pays off. I also joined a local taekwondo club to brush up on my basic technique, improve my fitness and meet some new awesome people! The taekwondo club that I normally go to at uni takes forever to get to since I live so far away. However, I miss the friends I made there a lot! 

I’ve left the most juiciest news for last – today was my first day as a fashion intern. Hold your horses, I didn’t completely drop out of my combined Science/Nursing degree, I decided now since I’m a part time student this Sem, I might as well use my free time productively. My first day was a bit of a roller coaster. I think it’s always hard treading on unfamiliar territory. I met this lovely girl fresh out of high school named, E, who was also interning. It was her 6th week there. She was sweet, we bonded over a lot of things – part-time jobs, fashion, what we want in life. Typically girl stuff.

 

When I think about it, I did quite a bit today – I steamed, prepared clothes and accessories, hung stuff, organised the show room so that look books matched the little sections for each particular designer. All in all, it wasn’t too bad of a day. But I did do a lot of thinking on the 1 hour train ride home. I remember thinking to myself, is this really for me? I kept repeating it too! My gut tells me I need a bit more time. I need to get used to the ins and outs of that fashion agency, the people there, my role as an intern, and just learn as much as I can. I need to get used to the feeling, and soon enough I won’t be considered ‘new’ anymore. I’ve also reset my expectations. I no longer have any. That way you don’t ask for too much, and get more than you bargained for in return. If I could take away one lesson that I learnt today, it’s that to be successful, you have to be prepared to start at the bottom. And that’s exactly what I’m doing, therefore I believe I’m on the right path.

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Find your wings

Just some thoughts I’d like to share because I’m feeling quite poetic and I’d really like to share. Self-pity makes you feel worse. If you focus on what you have, then you will never be without. For all those hopeless romantics out there, you can’t hurry love. For every thing has its place in time. Patience is a virtue, and if you don’t have it, then you can certainly train your brain. It allows you to find peace within, so that whatever you have is enough. If you’re scared you’ll never find love, then don’t be. For good things come to those who wait. Love comes from within, that is, learning to love yourself first. Find your wings, and you will not need the wind to lift you up. Find your soul, and maybe you will touch others. For you are strong, and maybe you just need to find that long lost soul hidden under all the rubble and scars of past experiences and wishful thinking.

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Life won’t wait for you

It’s just one of those days when you want to put pen to paper and pour your sorrows away. I like to think of my blog as something that gives me inspiration and hope that there are better days ahead when I’m feeling down. Throughout my life I have kept journals. As I got older, I told myself I wanted to write only about happy moments because quite frankly I didn’t want to read journal entries years down the track and think, was I really that lonely and sad as a teenager? But you know what, life is full of ups and downs. That’s why I’m writing my first vulnerable post on my blog.

I think from time to time, we all like to reminisce about the good ol’ days. However, time has a way of tainting those memories by being subjective. Our mind wants to remember just the good stuff, so we don’t have to feel the pain that we once endured through challenging experiences and obstacles. Relationships – family, friends, co-workers. They all make their mark on you. I once had a friendship with a guy. We were the best of friends. We did everything together. I think for the longest time he had a secret crush on me, but I friend-zoned him and took him for granted. As that song by Counting Crows goes, “you don’t know what you’ve got til its gone” (Big Yellow Taxi). And that’s exactly what happened, I missed him as soon as he went away. The difficult thing is something inside of me doesn’t want to let go of those memories, but I know that things will never be the same because life has changed the both of us in so many ways. We are on different walks of life. I know you can say all those cliche tag lines like “if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be’ or “God will find a way”. I’m not sure how to feel or what to say, but I guess I just need to let it be. For those days are long gone. Most people refer to me as a ‘pocket full of sunshine’, their ‘go-to gal’, that person who just always seems to be happy when they walk into a room. But just like anyone else I have my fair share of insecurities, doubts, thoughts that I just can’t get out of my head, and desires that just feel so far away. I think what I’m trying to say is that, inside my heart, there’s some kind of longing like a piece of a puzzle that needs to be found. I’m wise enough to know now, that it’s up to me to fill that whole and no one else can fill the void for me. It’s up to me. Just like anything else worthwhile in life, it takes a process of focus, determination and hard work to get the results you want. So I’m here writing to tell myself, “Good luck and congratulations to taking your first step to finding happiness again”. Let this new chapter in your life begin.

Yours truly, from a 21-year-old girl who has realised that, you are the one who decides whether you stay unhappy, or find ways to find happiness.

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Be Fierce like Beyonce

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Imagine you go on your day doing your normal routine whether it be work, uni, or just something to pass time. By chance you come across a familiar face in a sea of nameless faces. The world stops for about a second. It’s someone who once used to mean a lot to you. You stare at their features and remind yourself of that very first time you ‘fell’. It was a time that made you feel happy. For once, you didnt have to try so hard to feel happy. I think it’s overrated if I call it love, so I’ll just use the term bliss. Days pass, weeks turn into months, and eventually that moment passes. It becomes nothing but remnants of the past.

Face to face, you stare into their eyes, realising you no longer feel the same way; that your now different in some way you can’t explain. No longer young and naive. You’re stronger. More of a women. More beautiful than before, and fierce like Beyonce. No longer afraid of being alone. No longer believing in the fairytale that one day some guy with the alias, Prince Charming, will sweep you off your feet. But rather you’ve gained a sense of what it feels like to be whole as a person. That is, to find the true meaning of what it’s like to genuinely feel happy single. With a smile, you realise that you’re in a better place now. I believe that being single at 21 is not a bad thing. You can do what you want when you want. You can figure out who you want to be without having to depend on someone else. I’ve grown up a lot in the duration of a year and a bit. I’ve built character.

I’ve always been the girl who rarely dates. That friend you have who gives the best relationship advice, but still remains single. Even though “suitors” (as my mum likes to say) have come into the picture, most of the time I feel like they are just not the right fit. Then one day, my world got turned upside down. I met someone. All these feelings I never thought I had suddenly came out. I was definitely high on infatuation. I remember telling myself, “It’s finally my turn. I’ve waited so long.” But with a blink of an eye, I fell from cloud 9. It wasn’t graceful. I think when you feel so strongly about someone and suddenly it ends, you leave a piece of yourself with them. That piece allows you find a new piece that fills the hole that was created, and soon enough after nights of endless tears, you gradually transform out of your cocoon into a beautiful butterfly. A butterfly that is not afraid to spread their wings and fly high. You feel new again. One thing I’ve learnt is that the people who give you the most pain, are also the ones who teach you the largest life lessons. Yesterday, I accidentally bumped into that ‘someone’. Through a haiku, I will share with you how I felt in that unexpected moment:

Accidentally we meet again

That face I once adored
Reminds me of the old me
Oh how I’ve changed

Yours truly, from a 21-year-old girl who loves to sing Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys.

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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. – Rumi

Love and happiness are intertwined

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I’m a work in progress. That’s because I’m learning to retrain my brain on what love is. Some people spend their whole lives trying to find love and happiness from others. Little do they know that they must first learn to love themselves, before they can truly love others. This doesn’t happen over night. It takes one step at a time. Love is a process of personal transformation. One that leads you to a road of happiness.