Imagine you go on your day doing your normal routine whether it be work, uni, or just something to pass time. By chance you come across a familiar face in a sea of nameless faces. The world stops for about a second. It’s someone who once used to mean a lot to you. You stare at their features and remind yourself of that very first time you ‘fell’. It was a time that made you feel happy. For once, you didnt have to try so hard to feel happy. I think it’s overrated if I call it love, so I’ll just use the term bliss. Days pass, weeks turn into months, and eventually that moment passes. It becomes nothing but remnants of the past.
Face to face, you stare into their eyes, realising you no longer feel the same way; that your now different in some way you can’t explain. No longer young and naive. You’re stronger. More of a women. More beautiful than before, and fierce like Beyonce. No longer afraid of being alone. No longer believing in the fairytale that one day some guy with the alias, Prince Charming, will sweep you off your feet. But rather you’ve gained a sense of what it feels like to be whole as a person. That is, to find the true meaning of what it’s like to genuinely feel happy single. With a smile, you realise that you’re in a better place now. I believe that being single at 21 is not a bad thing. You can do what you want when you want. You can figure out who you want to be without having to depend on someone else. I’ve grown up a lot in the duration of a year and a bit. I’ve built character.
I’ve always been the girl who rarely dates. That friend you have who gives the best relationship advice, but still remains single. Even though “suitors” (as my mum likes to say) have come into the picture, most of the time I feel like they are just not the right fit. Then one day, my world got turned upside down. I met someone. All these feelings I never thought I had suddenly came out. I was definitely high on infatuation. I remember telling myself, “It’s finally my turn. I’ve waited so long.” But with a blink of an eye, I fell from cloud 9. It wasn’t graceful. I think when you feel so strongly about someone and suddenly it ends, you leave a piece of yourself with them. That piece allows you find a new piece that fills the hole that was created, and soon enough after nights of endless tears, you gradually transform out of your cocoon into a beautiful butterfly. A butterfly that is not afraid to spread their wings and fly high. You feel new again. One thing I’ve learnt is that the people who give you the most pain, are also the ones who teach you the largest life lessons. Yesterday, I accidentally bumped into that ‘someone’. Through a haiku, I will share with you how I felt in that unexpected moment:
Accidentally we meet again
That face I once adored
Reminds me of the old me
Oh how I’ve changed
Yours truly, from a 21-year-old girl who loves to sing Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys.